I am proud of us and for what we have become

You guys are truly amazing. Friday, I learned that when I sent out my mom’s birthday request, I had inadvertently reversed some numbers on the zip code for her mailing address. I figured it out and sent out a notice as quickly as I could with the correct zip code. But, despite the wrong zip code, your thoughts and kindness are getting through to her.

On Saturday, I called her and she advised that first, she was wrong about the number of cards she got on Friday and second, that she had no idea how far her request would go. Her specific words were; “I thought it was 20 on Friday, but then I saw that a card I thought was a bill from Tom Green County was an actual card wishing me well. I got 21 on one day!” We talked some more about the cards and how the request was distributed. Then she told me that she got 56 cards that day (Saturday). “What?” I asked. “56 cards in one day? That means you have 77 so far?” She said yes, and that it was obvious that at least one elementary school from Dallas sent her cards and that she suspected that several folks had their kids fill some out. I asked her how she knew, and she simply stated; “The kids always say that I am in their prayers and sign with just their first name. I know then that someone innocent and young is thinking of me and the card and not about all the junk we deal with as adults”.

Fast forward to Monday, I called mom on my way home from work. The following is a transcript of our conversation:
Erin: “Hey Mom. Whatcha’ Doing?”
Mom: “Just waking up. Feeling a little low today but am getting up now. Gonna start moving around.”
Erin: “ Ha. Ha. Like I would know if you hadn’t been up or if you were still in bed now. Just thought I would call on my way home and see how things are going. Have you been to the post office today?”
Mom: “Yeah, I got 122 cards today.”
Erin: “122 total? Or 122 in one day?”
Mom: “122 just today. That makes me one short of 200 in total. I think I might be annoying the post office lady.”
Erin: “Who cares. For the first time in years, she is having to work. “
Mom: “This is getting to be work…”
Erin: “You asked for this. What do you mean?”
Mom: “ I had no idea how this would play out. This is amazing, and I am glad to know that you have this support group to fall back on. You will need it.”
Erin: “ What do you mean? “
Mom: “Erin, I think, from experience, that it is harder to watch someone go through this than to go through it yourself.”
Erin: “I can’t say Mom, but I am here. I am as close as someone can get without getting cancer herself.”
Mom: “It is harder because watching someone die, you have to go through all the grief emotions, and you can’t help. There is simply nothing you can do when you watch someone you know and love die. And in my case, there is nothing you can do to make it easier/better for me. I know that."
Erin: “I know Mom, that has been really hard for me. I just want to help you. I can’t take your sickness away, I can’t take your lack of economic freedom away, all I can do is be here and love you and that is hard for me to do.”
Mom: “I know Erin, and we have never spoke of it. On my side, I am dealing with the reality that I am going to die. I struggle with the depression that the anxiety of death brings. I want to live every day until the end….but I am so sick sometimes that I can’t live it like I want/need to.”
Erin: “I can only imagine how hard that is for you, but be me. Think for a moment what it is like to know that terminal illness is just that, terminal. And I lose my access to you. I don’t want that..I can't believe that will happen.”
Mom: “Erin, I struggle with the depression that overwhelms me. I got my CT scan today. We will find out in the next couple days whether this treatment is working. I feel it is, but the scientist will tell us soon.”
Erin: “I bet you are full of anxiety about that. I know I am.”
Mom: “Yeah, but these cards that have come in. They give me hope. They help me to not be sad and if this many people are praying for me, then I have to make it.”
Erin: “Mom, you have no idea how many people you have helped…this has become bigger than just helping you, you have helped hundreds just by being you. I love you mom, and many people find inspiration from you, as I do, and will continue to do.”
Mom: “Keep bringing the cards. They are also showing me how much you mean to people. I am proud of you daughter, and I am proud of us and for what we have become.”