I received a voice mail from my mom at 12:20 pm today. I was in class, and missed the call. She said that she got the results from her CT scan from Tuesday and that her cancer was "Over 50% reduced...isn't that good news!" It was 2pm when I got the call, and I immediately called her back. As I was passing the "Bucee's" Chevron in Giddings [Shameless plug as this place has the best bathroom and beef jerky display I have ever seen!..It should be a tourist attraction in and of itself], I finally got ahold of her. Here is a transcript of our conversation:
Mom: "Hello? Erin, is that you?"
Erin: "Hey mom. Whatcha doin?"
Mom: "Just doin' my dishes over at Aunt Helen's. Did I tell you what she did today?"
Erin: "No, I haven't talked to you, what happened today?"
Mom: "Well, she was wondering around the yard determined to clean it up. She had a 54 pound washer in the wheel barrel and was moving it to the junk pile. You know she is over 85 years old! But, she was moving that stuff like she was 30. "
Erin: "You know Aunt Hell, she can move mountains by sure determination. You aren't that different you know."
Mom: "I know. I use to be strong like her. But when I tried to help her pick up that wheel barrel today, I couldn't even lift the handle. She is strong, and I can't hang with her."
Erin: "Oh sure you can. I remember a time when you re-cemented the front porch in one night. You can do some amazing things. For instance, haven't you shrunk a cancer you weren't even suppose to live through? I believe that beats Aunt Helen's strength by a long shot"
Mom: "Wow! you are right. I am beating biological cancer, with a 50% reduction, and Aunt Helen is making my life better by getting rid of at least 50% of the environmental cancers surrounding my house."
Erin: "How do you tell a 80+ year old women to slow down, when she doesn't want to?"
Mom: "The same way you tell a 50+ year old woman ... you don't. You let them fight in the way they know, live in the way that they can, and love as and how they want."
Erin: "Sounds like life to me."
Mom: "Damn right and good night."
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Phone in my pocket
It's Thursday, one day past the midday of the week and I already feel as if it is Monday all over. I am mindlessly driving back from class, listening to the latest John Grisham novel on CD, when my phone rings. I didn't hear it at first as I was focused on the plight of the heroin as she tries to outsmart her male nemesis in the court room, then the CD pauses and I heard the musician Pink say "I'm in trouble now, yeah trouble now". I immediately knew it was mom calling and picked up the phone. Here is a transcript of our conversation:
Erin: "Hey Mom, whatcha doin?"
Mom: "Just laying here. I had my phone in my pocket and thought I would call."
Erin: "Ummm...okay. That is an interesting excuse. How are you calling me if your phone is in your pocket?"
Mom: "Well, I was feeling tired, laid down and thought, hmm....wonder if...then realized that I had my phone in my pocket and I didn't have to get up. Thought I would call and let you know something. Nothing too big, and I love..but I just wanted to tell you."
Erin: "Good God. Did someone send you a card with some kind of story about me? If so..there all true I promise. [grin..mom laughs]"
Mom: "No..No. This is funnier. You know how you had the wrong zip code and how you put 'cars' instead of 'cards' in the text of the email that you sent out asking for my birthday wish?"
Erin: "Yeah." [I breathed as I winced under the pressure of what else I must have messed up on this effort]
Mom: "Well, you made me a year younger. You do know that I am actually 55 not 54 don't you?"
Erin: "Oh my God! Your right. When I wrote the email, I was in a hurry and emotional. All I thought about was the fact that you were 21 when you had me, and that I am now 33, therefore you should be 54. I never even considered the fact that I was born in November and your birthday is in February. I am sorry...I guess that means we are celebrating your 2nd anniversary of your 54th birthday."
Mom: "That's okay..it gave me a reason to call you and the phone in my pocket just gave me the opportunity."
Erin: "Hey Mom, whatcha doin?"
Mom: "Just laying here. I had my phone in my pocket and thought I would call."
Erin: "Ummm...okay. That is an interesting excuse. How are you calling me if your phone is in your pocket?"
Mom: "Well, I was feeling tired, laid down and thought, hmm....wonder if...then realized that I had my phone in my pocket and I didn't have to get up. Thought I would call and let you know something. Nothing too big, and I love..but I just wanted to tell you."
Erin: "Good God. Did someone send you a card with some kind of story about me? If so..there all true I promise. [grin..mom laughs]"
Mom: "No..No. This is funnier. You know how you had the wrong zip code and how you put 'cars' instead of 'cards' in the text of the email that you sent out asking for my birthday wish?"
Erin: "Yeah." [I breathed as I winced under the pressure of what else I must have messed up on this effort]
Mom: "Well, you made me a year younger. You do know that I am actually 55 not 54 don't you?"
Erin: "Oh my God! Your right. When I wrote the email, I was in a hurry and emotional. All I thought about was the fact that you were 21 when you had me, and that I am now 33, therefore you should be 54. I never even considered the fact that I was born in November and your birthday is in February. I am sorry...I guess that means we are celebrating your 2nd anniversary of your 54th birthday."
Mom: "That's okay..it gave me a reason to call you and the phone in my pocket just gave me the opportunity."
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
I am proud of us and for what we have become
You guys are truly amazing. Friday, I learned that when I sent out my mom’s birthday request, I had inadvertently reversed some numbers on the zip code for her mailing address. I figured it out and sent out a notice as quickly as I could with the correct zip code. But, despite the wrong zip code, your thoughts and kindness are getting through to her.
On Saturday, I called her and she advised that first, she was wrong about the number of cards she got on Friday and second, that she had no idea how far her request would go. Her specific words were; “I thought it was 20 on Friday, but then I saw that a card I thought was a bill from Tom Green County was an actual card wishing me well. I got 21 on one day!” We talked some more about the cards and how the request was distributed. Then she told me that she got 56 cards that day (Saturday). “What?” I asked. “56 cards in one day? That means you have 77 so far?” She said yes, and that it was obvious that at least one elementary school from Dallas sent her cards and that she suspected that several folks had their kids fill some out. I asked her how she knew, and she simply stated; “The kids always say that I am in their prayers and sign with just their first name. I know then that someone innocent and young is thinking of me and the card and not about all the junk we deal with as adults”.
Fast forward to Monday, I called mom on my way home from work. The following is a transcript of our conversation:
Erin: “Hey Mom. Whatcha’ Doing?”
Mom: “Just waking up. Feeling a little low today but am getting up now. Gonna start moving around.”
Erin: “ Ha. Ha. Like I would know if you hadn’t been up or if you were still in bed now. Just thought I would call on my way home and see how things are going. Have you been to the post office today?”
Mom: “Yeah, I got 122 cards today.”
Erin: “122 total? Or 122 in one day?”
Mom: “122 just today. That makes me one short of 200 in total. I think I might be annoying the post office lady.”
Erin: “Who cares. For the first time in years, she is having to work. “
Mom: “This is getting to be work…”
Erin: “You asked for this. What do you mean?”
Mom: “ I had no idea how this would play out. This is amazing, and I am glad to know that you have this support group to fall back on. You will need it.”
Erin: “ What do you mean? “
Mom: “Erin, I think, from experience, that it is harder to watch someone go through this than to go through it yourself.”
Erin: “I can’t say Mom, but I am here. I am as close as someone can get without getting cancer herself.”
Mom: “It is harder because watching someone die, you have to go through all the grief emotions, and you can’t help. There is simply nothing you can do when you watch someone you know and love die. And in my case, there is nothing you can do to make it easier/better for me. I know that."
Erin: “I know Mom, that has been really hard for me. I just want to help you. I can’t take your sickness away, I can’t take your lack of economic freedom away, all I can do is be here and love you and that is hard for me to do.”
Mom: “I know Erin, and we have never spoke of it. On my side, I am dealing with the reality that I am going to die. I struggle with the depression that the anxiety of death brings. I want to live every day until the end….but I am so sick sometimes that I can’t live it like I want/need to.”
Erin: “I can only imagine how hard that is for you, but be me. Think for a moment what it is like to know that terminal illness is just that, terminal. And I lose my access to you. I don’t want that..I can't believe that will happen.”
Mom: “Erin, I struggle with the depression that overwhelms me. I got my CT scan today. We will find out in the next couple days whether this treatment is working. I feel it is, but the scientist will tell us soon.”
Erin: “I bet you are full of anxiety about that. I know I am.”
Mom: “Yeah, but these cards that have come in. They give me hope. They help me to not be sad and if this many people are praying for me, then I have to make it.”
Erin: “Mom, you have no idea how many people you have helped…this has become bigger than just helping you, you have helped hundreds just by being you. I love you mom, and many people find inspiration from you, as I do, and will continue to do.”
Mom: “Keep bringing the cards. They are also showing me how much you mean to people. I am proud of you daughter, and I am proud of us and for what we have become.”
On Saturday, I called her and she advised that first, she was wrong about the number of cards she got on Friday and second, that she had no idea how far her request would go. Her specific words were; “I thought it was 20 on Friday, but then I saw that a card I thought was a bill from Tom Green County was an actual card wishing me well. I got 21 on one day!” We talked some more about the cards and how the request was distributed. Then she told me that she got 56 cards that day (Saturday). “What?” I asked. “56 cards in one day? That means you have 77 so far?” She said yes, and that it was obvious that at least one elementary school from Dallas sent her cards and that she suspected that several folks had their kids fill some out. I asked her how she knew, and she simply stated; “The kids always say that I am in their prayers and sign with just their first name. I know then that someone innocent and young is thinking of me and the card and not about all the junk we deal with as adults”.
Fast forward to Monday, I called mom on my way home from work. The following is a transcript of our conversation:
Erin: “Hey Mom. Whatcha’ Doing?”
Mom: “Just waking up. Feeling a little low today but am getting up now. Gonna start moving around.”
Erin: “ Ha. Ha. Like I would know if you hadn’t been up or if you were still in bed now. Just thought I would call on my way home and see how things are going. Have you been to the post office today?”
Mom: “Yeah, I got 122 cards today.”
Erin: “122 total? Or 122 in one day?”
Mom: “122 just today. That makes me one short of 200 in total. I think I might be annoying the post office lady.”
Erin: “Who cares. For the first time in years, she is having to work. “
Mom: “This is getting to be work…”
Erin: “You asked for this. What do you mean?”
Mom: “ I had no idea how this would play out. This is amazing, and I am glad to know that you have this support group to fall back on. You will need it.”
Erin: “ What do you mean? “
Mom: “Erin, I think, from experience, that it is harder to watch someone go through this than to go through it yourself.”
Erin: “I can’t say Mom, but I am here. I am as close as someone can get without getting cancer herself.”
Mom: “It is harder because watching someone die, you have to go through all the grief emotions, and you can’t help. There is simply nothing you can do when you watch someone you know and love die. And in my case, there is nothing you can do to make it easier/better for me. I know that."
Erin: “I know Mom, that has been really hard for me. I just want to help you. I can’t take your sickness away, I can’t take your lack of economic freedom away, all I can do is be here and love you and that is hard for me to do.”
Mom: “I know Erin, and we have never spoke of it. On my side, I am dealing with the reality that I am going to die. I struggle with the depression that the anxiety of death brings. I want to live every day until the end….but I am so sick sometimes that I can’t live it like I want/need to.”
Erin: “I can only imagine how hard that is for you, but be me. Think for a moment what it is like to know that terminal illness is just that, terminal. And I lose my access to you. I don’t want that..I can't believe that will happen.”
Mom: “Erin, I struggle with the depression that overwhelms me. I got my CT scan today. We will find out in the next couple days whether this treatment is working. I feel it is, but the scientist will tell us soon.”
Erin: “I bet you are full of anxiety about that. I know I am.”
Mom: “Yeah, but these cards that have come in. They give me hope. They help me to not be sad and if this many people are praying for me, then I have to make it.”
Erin: “Mom, you have no idea how many people you have helped…this has become bigger than just helping you, you have helped hundreds just by being you. I love you mom, and many people find inspiration from you, as I do, and will continue to do.”
Mom: “Keep bringing the cards. They are also showing me how much you mean to people. I am proud of you daughter, and I am proud of us and for what we have become.”
Sunday, February 24, 2008
This one, I choose to keep
I was going through some old photo's that my mom gave me a couple weeks ago during my last vist and discovered some of my sister's and I's old school yearbook photos. All I could do is laugh and say to myself "Wow! Who thought that was a good idea???" I have no idea who was dressing me or how much hairspray I went though in the late eighties and early nineties.
However, what I can say is that one of life’s great shared injustices is the yearbook photo. We all had to get them. And — unless they’ve somehow magically found a cure for awkwardness, geekiness and general dorkitude since I was a teenager — most of us dreaded them. For whatever reason, be it bad skin, bad clothes or the steadfast yet ultimately misguided belief in the transformative properties of big bangs, many of us look back at our school pictures and cringe. Or, at the very least, giggle. Celebrities had to get them too, just like us mere mortals. Now that is what I call justice. As I believe that strong and intelligent women should support one another (or at least agree to share previous bad photos of each other), I thought I would share some photos of some strong and intelligent famous women in their less than flattering yearbook photos and engage in a bit of fun guessing who they are. Please know that in a future episode, I will give a chornological history of my sister and I as well as our mother in a similar trivia fashion. I am collecting the photos as you read this.
Below is a mosiac of the yearbook photos. Take a close look, as I will quiz you in a bit. No cheating.
So, let’s play a little game called I like to call "Name That Teenager". It’ll be fun; like being back in high school, but already knowing what everyone will look like at the class reunion. Let the games begin:
First, look at the top four pictures in the top left portion of the mosaic. Among them you have a "Rock" star, an Alien hunter, a Flash Dance model and the possible next president of the United States of America.
Next, look at the four pictures in the top right corner of the mosiac. This is a group that clearly spared no expense on the Aqua Net.
The next group makes the quadrant comprised of the bottom left corner of the mosiac. This group kept it cropped short. Just goes to prove that a tom boy's can be glamourous too!
Finally, the bottom right corner of the mosiac and all the possible stumpers. I’ll give you a hint: Three of them have almost the exact same first name. Also, can we please savor the fashion genius that is top left hand corner’s pencil themed T-shirt? Are those No. 2 pencils? She is so ready for her placement exams.
As a precursor for future installments, here is one of my favorite pictures of my mom, my sister and I about 3 years ago at my sister's graduation from Vet School. This was one of the happies memories I have of both of them.
Going through those old photo's, and those of the celebrities above, I have learned that, despite the fame, fortune, or opportunity, and despite the lighting, imperfections and weight gain/loss, life is short, photos live forever, but memories breath life to the moment captured in both. We do not define relationships or ourselves by our photos, friends, or family, but by the memories we create and those we chose to keep.
This one, I will chose to keep.
Friday, February 22, 2008
I got a lot of reading to do
Thanks to everyone who has been sending birthday cards and for spreading the word regarding this attempt. Never short for words, my mom has been virtually speechless and surprised the last few days by the response her request has received.
Today, I was sitting in class when she called. Concerned that something significant had occurred regarding her illness, I excused my self from class and took the call.
Mom: "Hey Erin, are you in a meeting or something?"
Erin: "Hey Mom, no I am in class, what's up?"
Mom: "Well, I just wanted to let you know that I just left the post office and I had 20 birthday cards."
Erin: "Really? Wow! That is fantastic."
Mom: "Yeah, they are from all over the state. I got one from Georgetown, some from Amarrillo, one from Raymondville. What did you do? Did you put it on the internet?"
Erin: "I did what you asked. I sent an email to all my co-workers, friends, and people that I know and asked that they spread the word."
Mom: "I am debating whether or not to read them now or wait until my birthday."
Erin: "I would suggest you open them as they come, or you may get overwhelmed. I know my friends and peers, and I expect that you will get a lot more than the 20 you got today."
Mom: "Really? I guess I will get to celebrate my birthday all week?"
Erin: "All week, and all year, this is your time to realize that you have an impact on the world and that people are wishing you well."
Mom: " I love you Erin. I will let you go. I got a lot of reading to do."
I love you too Mom, and here's to many more cards and smiles for you.
Today, I was sitting in class when she called. Concerned that something significant had occurred regarding her illness, I excused my self from class and took the call.
Mom: "Hey Erin, are you in a meeting or something?"
Erin: "Hey Mom, no I am in class, what's up?"
Mom: "Well, I just wanted to let you know that I just left the post office and I had 20 birthday cards."
Erin: "Really? Wow! That is fantastic."
Mom: "Yeah, they are from all over the state. I got one from Georgetown, some from Amarrillo, one from Raymondville. What did you do? Did you put it on the internet?"
Erin: "I did what you asked. I sent an email to all my co-workers, friends, and people that I know and asked that they spread the word."
Mom: "I am debating whether or not to read them now or wait until my birthday."
Erin: "I would suggest you open them as they come, or you may get overwhelmed. I know my friends and peers, and I expect that you will get a lot more than the 20 you got today."
Mom: "Really? I guess I will get to celebrate my birthday all week?"
Erin: "All week, and all year, this is your time to realize that you have an impact on the world and that people are wishing you well."
Mom: " I love you Erin. I will let you go. I got a lot of reading to do."
I love you too Mom, and here's to many more cards and smiles for you.
Correct Zip Code is 76379
Hey guys!
In my haste to get an email out requesting cards to be sent to my mom for her birthday, I sent out the wrong zip code. Thus my desperation late on a Friday from home to try and get the correct information out to you.
The correct zip code is 76379 if you have not yet sent the card. I apologize for the wrong zip in the earlier email. Therefore her correct mailing address is
Mary Hajovsky
P.O. Box 2
Scotland Texas, 76379
I apologize for the error. If you already sent a card and it is returned, please resend it with the correct email.
To date my mom has already received 21 cards and is extremely excited.
Thanks
Erin
Here is the text of the original email:
In August of 2007 my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Small Cell lung Cancer. At the time, the doctors told her that she had approximately 3 months to live even with aggressive treatment. She immediately began treatment with using at times up to three different types of chemo. In November the prognosis indicated that her cancer had stopped growing but not yet begun to shrink. For lung cancer, this is actually looked at as a treatment failure because without treatment, the cancer spreads extremely fast. Fortunately, her doctor had heard of a clinical trial on a new form of chemo out of Japan and enrolled her into the program. She is one of only 16 people in the country in the trial. As of yesterday, she has two treatments left and the cancer has begun to shrink.Next Thursday, February 27th, 2008, will be my mother’s 54th birthday. When I spoke to her last night and asked her how she would like to celebrate it, she said that all she wanted was:1) a visit from me. 2) A million birthday cars. She asked me to spread the word to all of you and see how many birthday cards she can get for her birthday. Her specific words were “I know that I shouldn’t ask for such things as it might appear selfish, but if I don’t ask then I won’t get my wish. Please ask your co-workers and friends to send me a card, because I wasn’t suppose to make it this far.
In my haste to get an email out requesting cards to be sent to my mom for her birthday, I sent out the wrong zip code. Thus my desperation late on a Friday from home to try and get the correct information out to you.
The correct zip code is 76379 if you have not yet sent the card. I apologize for the wrong zip in the earlier email. Therefore her correct mailing address is
Mary Hajovsky
P.O. Box 2
Scotland Texas, 76379
I apologize for the error. If you already sent a card and it is returned, please resend it with the correct email.
To date my mom has already received 21 cards and is extremely excited.
Thanks
Erin
Here is the text of the original email:
In August of 2007 my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Small Cell lung Cancer. At the time, the doctors told her that she had approximately 3 months to live even with aggressive treatment. She immediately began treatment with using at times up to three different types of chemo. In November the prognosis indicated that her cancer had stopped growing but not yet begun to shrink. For lung cancer, this is actually looked at as a treatment failure because without treatment, the cancer spreads extremely fast. Fortunately, her doctor had heard of a clinical trial on a new form of chemo out of Japan and enrolled her into the program. She is one of only 16 people in the country in the trial. As of yesterday, she has two treatments left and the cancer has begun to shrink.Next Thursday, February 27th, 2008, will be my mother’s 54th birthday. When I spoke to her last night and asked her how she would like to celebrate it, she said that all she wanted was:1) a visit from me. 2) A million birthday cars. She asked me to spread the word to all of you and see how many birthday cards she can get for her birthday. Her specific words were “I know that I shouldn’t ask for such things as it might appear selfish, but if I don’t ask then I won’t get my wish. Please ask your co-workers and friends to send me a card, because I wasn’t suppose to make it this far.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Wow! They love me..they really love me...
Earlier today, I posted a request from my mother that for her 54th Birthday, she receive as many birthday cards as possible. When she received her diagnosis in August of 2007, the doctors told her that she would be lucky to live until November. If you aren't familiar with the email and internet request I sent earlier today, please reveiw my blog from this morning. I did not want to devote this blog to my mother's story so much, as I wanted to document the TREMENDOUS amount of support that my family and the idea received today. I sent the email out to all juvenile probation departments, all staff at the Commssion, and all members of a couple interagency workgroups I serve on. I was amazed by the waterfall of support and kind words I received from my request (which I must state again, was not my intent). I cried harder when I was writing the email for support than I expected. Sitting there in my little cubicle at work, with a waterfall flowing down my face, all I could do is hope that no one decided to "drop in for a visit" until I was done. Then, throughout the day to see this kind of support that was coming in, well..lets just say a smile is back on my face and I now know that what I requested was a positive thing and my mom will have one of the best birthdays of her life.
Here are some of the comments:
"My daughter works at an elementary school and the teachers are having the students send out cards! Your mom should get a kick out of those cards!
It is a really cool school in Los Colinas and the principal is a good friend of
mine and my husband. That should bring a smile to her face!"
"Good Morning Erin;
I just got your e-mail sent to us by Ms. Pizana, Deputy Director, rest a sure she will get her wish…please put me down on your website link I would love to hear all those wonderful stories. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family."
"Your mom looks beautiful You must have a wonderful Mom…because you are clearly a terrific daughter. You make me wish I’d had a daughter in addition to those three sons."
"I understand your mother's wishes more than you may know. When things like this happen in your life it is the smallest things that mean the most. I can tell you that the kindness and thoughtfulness of strangers since Bethany was born has meant more to me than money, diamonds, or any material thing."
"I will ask everyone that I know to send her a birthday card. Thank you so much for asking."
"Erin, what a sweet idea! I will forward your request! I did get a kick out of the typo “a million CARS” instead of “a million CARDS” Wouldn’t it be funny if your mom got a million new cars!!!!HAHAHAHAHA!!! I am so glad she is responding to her treatment! "
"Good Morning Erin,
I am so sorry to hear that your mother is going through this; however she will overcome all of this… She is in my prayers and she will get the million cards that she is wishing for. May God bless you and your mother and give you the strength that you need each day and Cameron County is here for you for whatever you need… You have always been such a wonderful person with lots of energy and positive thinking…. This is the time to think positive and your mother will overcome her illness…. God Bless you……Take Care….."
"Erin, your Mom is soooo blessed and great news regarding the clinical trial, it sounds like the treatment is taking effect. I’d love to see your blog to document your Mom’s progress. We’re definitely going to be sending birthday wishes to your mom and a lit’l something for her to enjoy. Take care and live, love & laugh…."
"I personally think this is a GREAT idea and will definitely be participating!! You know Mike will let me send this out to everyone so you can count on more from Fort Bend County!!
Erin, I will keep your mother and your family in my prayers - please keep us posted on her status."
"Good morning Erin,
We may not be able to send her birthday cars but sure will send birthday cards! Ha! Ha! Ha!
The e-mail has been sent to the staff in our office!"
"Erin,
I think what you’re doing is awesome. My mom wasn’t so fortunate; she passed away last June due to lung cancer. You and your mom are very fortunate that the new treatment is working for her. I’ll be sure to spread your mom’s request. Take care. "
"Dear Erin -
I am sorry to hear about your mother's illness but I am very encouraged with the prospects of her new treatment. I watched the TV broadcast and it is obvious that your mom has a wonderfully positive spirit which can itself work miracles. I think I know now where you get your determination and perseverance. The timing of your email is interesting. We found out last week that my mother has colon cancer. She is 92 years old and is in no pain or discomfort. We have elected not to pursue surgery or chemotherapy so we will keep her comfortable and very loved. You and your mother will be in my prayers."
"My name is xxx and I will be sending your mother a birthday card with wishes of happiness on this very special birthday.In January of 2003, my father, like your mother, was diagnosed with stage 4 small cell lung cancer. It had spread to his back and liver. The doctors wouldn't give us a timeline, but through research, we learned that 6 months is usually the absolute best that we could hope for. The chemo made him sick, but took the pain away almost immediately and we were very thankful for that. My father loved his work as the Magistrate Judge in Yosemite National Park and we were all very thankful that he was able to continue his work up until the week before his death in August of that same year. I wish that this trial was going on while my father was fighting the cancer and that he could have participated in it, but we are very thankful that we had him for 8 months from the time of his diagnosis and that his life was full, until the final week.You mother and her family are in our prayers. All the best to you."
"Erin, I know you don't know me, but I just wanted you to know that I will be praying for your mom. A lady in our office was diagnosed with stage 3 Esophogeal cancer in Sept. 07, so I have really been studying & researching all I can get my hands on regarding this disease. I found a really eye opening book, that if you are willing to read, could really help you in understanding why we are seeing so many cases of cancer these days & why the cure rate is so low. The name of the book is: "Cancer, Step Outside the Box", author is Ty M. Bolinger. He lives in the Dallas area and lost both his parents to cancer, so he has made it his mission in life to educate people about this horrible disease. Like I said, it was a real eye opener! I have included the link if you are interested in taking a look. I hope I am not being too pushy. I'm just the type of person who likes to share good things when I find them.
http://altered-states.net/barry/mp31/cancerbook/about.htm
Have a blessed day & remember with God, all things are possible"
Here are some of the comments:
"My daughter works at an elementary school and the teachers are having the students send out cards! Your mom should get a kick out of those cards!
It is a really cool school in Los Colinas and the principal is a good friend of
mine and my husband. That should bring a smile to her face!"
"Good Morning Erin;
I just got your e-mail sent to us by Ms. Pizana, Deputy Director, rest a sure she will get her wish…please put me down on your website link I would love to hear all those wonderful stories. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family."
"Your mom looks beautiful You must have a wonderful Mom…because you are clearly a terrific daughter. You make me wish I’d had a daughter in addition to those three sons."
"I understand your mother's wishes more than you may know. When things like this happen in your life it is the smallest things that mean the most. I can tell you that the kindness and thoughtfulness of strangers since Bethany was born has meant more to me than money, diamonds, or any material thing."
"I will ask everyone that I know to send her a birthday card. Thank you so much for asking."
"Erin, what a sweet idea! I will forward your request! I did get a kick out of the typo “a million CARS” instead of “a million CARDS” Wouldn’t it be funny if your mom got a million new cars!!!!HAHAHAHAHA!!! I am so glad she is responding to her treatment! "
"Good Morning Erin,
I am so sorry to hear that your mother is going through this; however she will overcome all of this… She is in my prayers and she will get the million cards that she is wishing for. May God bless you and your mother and give you the strength that you need each day and Cameron County is here for you for whatever you need… You have always been such a wonderful person with lots of energy and positive thinking…. This is the time to think positive and your mother will overcome her illness…. God Bless you……Take Care….."
"Erin, your Mom is soooo blessed and great news regarding the clinical trial, it sounds like the treatment is taking effect. I’d love to see your blog to document your Mom’s progress. We’re definitely going to be sending birthday wishes to your mom and a lit’l something for her to enjoy. Take care and live, love & laugh…."
"I personally think this is a GREAT idea and will definitely be participating!! You know Mike will let me send this out to everyone so you can count on more from Fort Bend County!!
Erin, I will keep your mother and your family in my prayers - please keep us posted on her status."
"Good morning Erin,
We may not be able to send her birthday cars but sure will send birthday cards! Ha! Ha! Ha!
The e-mail has been sent to the staff in our office!"
"Erin,
I think what you’re doing is awesome. My mom wasn’t so fortunate; she passed away last June due to lung cancer. You and your mom are very fortunate that the new treatment is working for her. I’ll be sure to spread your mom’s request. Take care. "
"Dear Erin -
I am sorry to hear about your mother's illness but I am very encouraged with the prospects of her new treatment. I watched the TV broadcast and it is obvious that your mom has a wonderfully positive spirit which can itself work miracles. I think I know now where you get your determination and perseverance. The timing of your email is interesting. We found out last week that my mother has colon cancer. She is 92 years old and is in no pain or discomfort. We have elected not to pursue surgery or chemotherapy so we will keep her comfortable and very loved. You and your mother will be in my prayers."
"My name is xxx and I will be sending your mother a birthday card with wishes of happiness on this very special birthday.In January of 2003, my father, like your mother, was diagnosed with stage 4 small cell lung cancer. It had spread to his back and liver. The doctors wouldn't give us a timeline, but through research, we learned that 6 months is usually the absolute best that we could hope for. The chemo made him sick, but took the pain away almost immediately and we were very thankful for that. My father loved his work as the Magistrate Judge in Yosemite National Park and we were all very thankful that he was able to continue his work up until the week before his death in August of that same year. I wish that this trial was going on while my father was fighting the cancer and that he could have participated in it, but we are very thankful that we had him for 8 months from the time of his diagnosis and that his life was full, until the final week.You mother and her family are in our prayers. All the best to you."
"Erin, I know you don't know me, but I just wanted you to know that I will be praying for your mom. A lady in our office was diagnosed with stage 3 Esophogeal cancer in Sept. 07, so I have really been studying & researching all I can get my hands on regarding this disease. I found a really eye opening book, that if you are willing to read, could really help you in understanding why we are seeing so many cases of cancer these days & why the cure rate is so low. The name of the book is: "Cancer, Step Outside the Box", author is Ty M. Bolinger. He lives in the Dallas area and lost both his parents to cancer, so he has made it his mission in life to educate people about this horrible disease. Like I said, it was a real eye opener! I have included the link if you are interested in taking a look. I hope I am not being too pushy. I'm just the type of person who likes to share good things when I find them.
http://altered-states.net/barry/mp31/cancerbook/about.htm
Have a blessed day & remember with God, all things are possible"
I called my mom to warn her about all the mail she would be getting. She said, "I always thought I looked a bit like Sally Fields, now I feel like her....they love me...they really love me....you love me."
Birthday Request
I don’t typically like to send mass broadcasts with personal requests via email however this is a very special situation. Below is a copy of an email broadcast I sent to all my co-workers and friends this morning. This was a very difficult thing for me to do, especially at work. I typically am a very private person when it comes to grief or difficult situations in my life, however, this particular email was not written for myself but as a birthday request from my mother.
In August of 2007 my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Small Cell lung Cancer. At the time, the doctors told her that she had approximately 3 months to live even with aggressive treatment. She immediately began treatment with using at times up to three different types of chemo. In November the prognosis indicated that her cancer had stopped growing but not yet begun to shrink. For lung cancer, this is actually looked at as a treatment failure because without treatment, the cancer spreads extremely fast. Fortunately, her doctor had heard of a clinical trial on a new form of chemo out of Japan and enrolled her into the program. She is one of only 16 people in the country in the trial. As of yesterday, she has two treatments left and the cancer has begun to shrink.
Next Thursday, February 27th, 2008, will be my mother’s 54th birthday. When I spoke to her last night and asked her how she would like to celebrate it, she said that all she wanted was:
1) a visit from me
2) A million birthday cars
She asked me to spread the word to all of you and see how many birthday cards she can get for her birthday. Her specific words were “I know that I shouldn’t ask for such things as it might appear selfish, but if I don’t ask then I won’t get my wish. Please ask your co-workers and friends to send me a card, because I wasn’t suppose to make it this far.”
If you have a couple extra bucks this weekend and some time to pick up a card, it would mean a lot to my family if you could send her a card wishing her well on her birthday.
Her name is Mary Hajovsky, and her mailing address is: P.O. Box 2, Scotland, Texas 76739
If you would like to know more about her story and this treatment, below is a link to a local news broadcast that aired a couple months ago:
http://texomashomepage.com/media_player.php?media_id=5222
I have also started a blog to document our process through this battle (and to share some genuine funny stories as well). If you are interested in receiving a link to it, just shoot me an email and I will send it to you.
Also, please forward this email to anyone you think may be interested in sending her a card or hearing more about this treatment
Here's to hoping her wishes come true.
In August of 2007 my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Small Cell lung Cancer. At the time, the doctors told her that she had approximately 3 months to live even with aggressive treatment. She immediately began treatment with using at times up to three different types of chemo. In November the prognosis indicated that her cancer had stopped growing but not yet begun to shrink. For lung cancer, this is actually looked at as a treatment failure because without treatment, the cancer spreads extremely fast. Fortunately, her doctor had heard of a clinical trial on a new form of chemo out of Japan and enrolled her into the program. She is one of only 16 people in the country in the trial. As of yesterday, she has two treatments left and the cancer has begun to shrink.
Next Thursday, February 27th, 2008, will be my mother’s 54th birthday. When I spoke to her last night and asked her how she would like to celebrate it, she said that all she wanted was:
1) a visit from me
2) A million birthday cars
She asked me to spread the word to all of you and see how many birthday cards she can get for her birthday. Her specific words were “I know that I shouldn’t ask for such things as it might appear selfish, but if I don’t ask then I won’t get my wish. Please ask your co-workers and friends to send me a card, because I wasn’t suppose to make it this far.”
If you have a couple extra bucks this weekend and some time to pick up a card, it would mean a lot to my family if you could send her a card wishing her well on her birthday.
Her name is Mary Hajovsky, and her mailing address is: P.O. Box 2, Scotland, Texas 76739
If you would like to know more about her story and this treatment, below is a link to a local news broadcast that aired a couple months ago:
http://texomashomepage.com/media_player.php?media_id=5222
I have also started a blog to document our process through this battle (and to share some genuine funny stories as well). If you are interested in receiving a link to it, just shoot me an email and I will send it to you.
Also, please forward this email to anyone you think may be interested in sending her a card or hearing more about this treatment
Here's to hoping her wishes come true.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
I lost a friend too
Over the past month, it has become increasingly apparent to me that the person I thought would be my "knight in shining" armour by being my mom's primary adult support throughout her treatment and diagnosis will not be able to complete his duties. However, before we got that deep, lets strike some tunes: My mother in her utter need for independence has begun to pull away from him to the extent that she now wants me to stay at the shop with her when I visit. When I called Huie this week, he (for the first time ever in 5 months) never called me back. For the second time since my mother got sick, I had no idea where I would stay and visit with her. However, if it hadn't had been for him, I don't think my mother would have even reached the benchmark that she has: Diagnosed with Stage4 Small Cell Lung Cancer, August 2007. Cancer receeding and normal energy returning with a sustation in life cells, Feburary 2008. Everything I read about lung cancer, especially the type my mother has, since her diagnosis, projected that she should have been dead by December and that her life would be extremely painful and tough. As my earlier blogs can show you, my mom's legacy is not similar to the reflection of the popular media.
The following is a copy of the blog I started in August after I heard her diagnosis:
Wow what a week:
It’s Saturday, August 25, 2007, and I have just decided to start a journal for the like 45th time in my life. It will be interesting if I can actually keep up with this one, for my life seem to have loads of interesting issues, trends, and activities emerge from time to time. Most recently, the terminal diagnosis of my mother with small cell lung cancer that has spread to the liver has sent me and my concentration as an individual into a complete tail spin. Here I am, 32, fat and happy, and more worried about the changes in management in my office, than the fact that my mother recently had her home repossessed, her truck repossessed, and is living in a old workshop while coughing and lack of energy were proficient in her daily activities. I sat in my little life in Austin, completely oblivious to the fact that "out of sight- out of mind” actually reigned true for her. On Monday, her boyfriend (and former neighbor) called me (I call him the angel…as you will find in future reports), and advised that she was in the emergency room and that the doctor thought she might have lung cancer. As a transition for this report, Huie lost his wife one year ago to small celled lung cancer. Now he was telling me that he took my mother to the emergency room with a “stomach” flu that included her inability to eat for 3 days and interrupted her breathing. I immediately made arrangements to make my first trip home to visit in over two years. Without beating myself up anymore, what I will say is that I had a very good if not one of my best visits with my mother. She was in high spirits and feeling honery the entire time she was in the hospital. I walked in during a moment when she was gently reminding the nurse that she had “30 minutes” until the next pain killer, and during a point when she was adamant that “It’s going to get rough for me soon, I don’t want to use up all of my resistance to medications right off the bat”…this was a hard statement for me to take. To imagine a point in your life when you know that you will be in more pain tomorrow than you are today….well hmm that says it all to me.
Fast foward to today.
There are so many soundbites in this blog, I had a hard time limiting them and still trying to cover my story. The point of this story is that at one point I got all of my information from Huie because my mother could or would not communicate with people. Today, I don't hear from Huie and my mom calls every day. When I ask her about him, she simply states that Cleota (his deceased wife) was her friend. She tells me that she and Cleota would sit on the porch, drink beer, and watch Huie mow the lawns.
Here is a synopsis of our conversation:
Mom: "Cleota was my friend..we picked on Huie and had a common bond being mothers"
Erin: "What? You mean you hung out with his wife? and You guys talked about him? Intersting." Mom: "Yeah, you weren't around, and I needed a friend. I liked her before I liked him."
Erin: "So, now you have this tension between you and him. He has helped you alot and I have come to rely on him for a place to stay when I come to visit. From our conversation today, I can't do that anymore and I am not sure how I can work out coming to visit in the future."
Mom: "I know, Erin, but when I stay at Huie's, he speaks as if it is 'our' home, but he has Cleota everywhere...we both battled lung cancer...it has only been a year..that is too much."
Erin: "I understand...but I like him"
Mom: "Glad to hear it, but he forgets that I lost a friend too when Cleota died....I won't put him, myself, or his family through that again. I will not stay another night out there.I love him and he is a special man, but I need my independence right now."
Erin: "Okay...I will find a way to visit. I love you mom, please give me a couple weeks."
Here is a picture of my mom and Huie at Christmas.. the picture says everything:
The following is a copy of the blog I started in August after I heard her diagnosis:
Wow what a week:
It’s Saturday, August 25, 2007, and I have just decided to start a journal for the like 45th time in my life. It will be interesting if I can actually keep up with this one, for my life seem to have loads of interesting issues, trends, and activities emerge from time to time. Most recently, the terminal diagnosis of my mother with small cell lung cancer that has spread to the liver has sent me and my concentration as an individual into a complete tail spin. Here I am, 32, fat and happy, and more worried about the changes in management in my office, than the fact that my mother recently had her home repossessed, her truck repossessed, and is living in a old workshop while coughing and lack of energy were proficient in her daily activities. I sat in my little life in Austin, completely oblivious to the fact that "out of sight- out of mind” actually reigned true for her. On Monday, her boyfriend (and former neighbor) called me (I call him the angel…as you will find in future reports), and advised that she was in the emergency room and that the doctor thought she might have lung cancer. As a transition for this report, Huie lost his wife one year ago to small celled lung cancer. Now he was telling me that he took my mother to the emergency room with a “stomach” flu that included her inability to eat for 3 days and interrupted her breathing. I immediately made arrangements to make my first trip home to visit in over two years. Without beating myself up anymore, what I will say is that I had a very good if not one of my best visits with my mother. She was in high spirits and feeling honery the entire time she was in the hospital. I walked in during a moment when she was gently reminding the nurse that she had “30 minutes” until the next pain killer, and during a point when she was adamant that “It’s going to get rough for me soon, I don’t want to use up all of my resistance to medications right off the bat”…this was a hard statement for me to take. To imagine a point in your life when you know that you will be in more pain tomorrow than you are today….well hmm that says it all to me.
Fast foward to today.
There are so many soundbites in this blog, I had a hard time limiting them and still trying to cover my story. The point of this story is that at one point I got all of my information from Huie because my mother could or would not communicate with people. Today, I don't hear from Huie and my mom calls every day. When I ask her about him, she simply states that Cleota (his deceased wife) was her friend. She tells me that she and Cleota would sit on the porch, drink beer, and watch Huie mow the lawns.
Here is a synopsis of our conversation:
Mom: "Cleota was my friend..we picked on Huie and had a common bond being mothers"
Erin: "What? You mean you hung out with his wife? and You guys talked about him? Intersting." Mom: "Yeah, you weren't around, and I needed a friend. I liked her before I liked him."
Erin: "So, now you have this tension between you and him. He has helped you alot and I have come to rely on him for a place to stay when I come to visit. From our conversation today, I can't do that anymore and I am not sure how I can work out coming to visit in the future."
Mom: "I know, Erin, but when I stay at Huie's, he speaks as if it is 'our' home, but he has Cleota everywhere...we both battled lung cancer...it has only been a year..that is too much."
Erin: "I understand...but I like him"
Mom: "Glad to hear it, but he forgets that I lost a friend too when Cleota died....I won't put him, myself, or his family through that again. I will not stay another night out there.I love him and he is a special man, but I need my independence right now."
Erin: "Okay...I will find a way to visit. I love you mom, please give me a couple weeks."
Here is a picture of my mom and Huie at Christmas.. the picture says everything:
While I am sad to see my mom pulling away from him, I will continue to stay in touch because when she is gone, he would have lost a friend and I will need one.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Law of the Garbage Truck
I have met many a wonderful spiritual and philisophical person in my life. But most recently, I was lucky enough to stumble upon the story of the "Law of the Garbage Truck". It is amazing to me how life hands you experiences just when you need them, and never have I had a more timely story relayed than this one. Here is the story:
Law of the Garbage Truck: How often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day? Unless you're the Terminator, for an instant you're probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly she/he can get back her/his focus on what's important. Five years ago I learned this lesson. I learned it in the back of a taxi cab in Indianapolis . Here's what happened: I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Indianapolis Airport . We were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car's back end by just inches! The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was friendly. So, I said, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck." Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they'll dump it on you. When someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally. You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You'll be happy you did. So this was it: The "Law of the Garbage Truck." I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people: at work, at home, on the streets? It was that day I said, "I'm not going to do it anymore." I began to see garbage trucks. Like in the movie "The Sixth Sense," the little boy said, "I see Dead People." Well, now "I see Garbage Trucks." I see the load they're carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. And like my Taxi Driver, I don't make it a personal thing; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and I move on. Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting. Good parents know that they have to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses. Leaders and parents know that they have to be fully present, and at their best for the people they care about.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their day. What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by? You'll be happier. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.
So believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, TAKE IT! If it changes your life, LET IT! Nobody said it would be easy...I simply and humbly promise that the lesson you have to learn from the people you meet or the experiences in your life themselves, are worth it!
Law of the Garbage Truck: How often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day? Unless you're the Terminator, for an instant you're probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly she/he can get back her/his focus on what's important. Five years ago I learned this lesson. I learned it in the back of a taxi cab in Indianapolis . Here's what happened: I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Indianapolis Airport . We were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car's back end by just inches! The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was friendly. So, I said, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck." Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they'll dump it on you. When someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally. You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You'll be happy you did. So this was it: The "Law of the Garbage Truck." I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people: at work, at home, on the streets? It was that day I said, "I'm not going to do it anymore." I began to see garbage trucks. Like in the movie "The Sixth Sense," the little boy said, "I see Dead People." Well, now "I see Garbage Trucks." I see the load they're carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. And like my Taxi Driver, I don't make it a personal thing; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and I move on. Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting. Good parents know that they have to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses. Leaders and parents know that they have to be fully present, and at their best for the people they care about.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their day. What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by? You'll be happier. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.
So believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, TAKE IT! If it changes your life, LET IT! Nobody said it would be easy...I simply and humbly promise that the lesson you have to learn from the people you meet or the experiences in your life themselves, are worth it!
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