D Day: The world is at our feet

D-Day is a term often used in military parlance to denote the day on which a combat attack or operation is to be initiated. "D-Day" often represents a variable, designating the day upon which some significant event will occur or has occurred. By far, the best known D-Day is June 6, 1944 — the day on which the Invasion of Normandy began — commencing the Western Allied effort to liberate mainland Europe from Nazi occupation during World War II. However, many other invasions and operations had a designated D-Day, both before and after that operation.

The terms D-Day and H-Hour are used for the day and hour on which a combat attack or operation is to be initiated. They designate the day and hour of the operation when the day and hour have not yet been determined, or where secrecy is essential. There is but one D-Day and one H-Hour for all units participating in a given operation.

Today, at 5:45pm initated D-Day and H-Hour for my mother, my family and her cancer. She had to be hospitalized this weekend because her blood count simply would not rebound from the latest round of chemotherapy. Subsequently, she is now no longer eligible for treatment through the clincial trials and has been referred to Hospice for all future care. Extremely depressed, all she could seem to focus on is that she will be in Hospice care.

As an aside, about two weeks ago my mother asked for the sheet music for the song from Sarah Mclaughlin "In the arms of an angel". She advised that after her mother died, she had heard this song and it helped her to cope with the emotion, and she wanted it played at her funeral. Needless to say, that was a hard request for me to fullfil. Despite the fact that I will have watched my mother and my grandmother die in the course of two years, I sent her the sheet music. Now I am reminded of both her and my grandmother every time the song is played either on the radio as the background for an add by the ASPCA. No longer am I able to have a burger with my grandmother and in the near future, I won't be able to share a laugh or a fight with my mother.

My mom, now after discovering that the treatment is done, has begun to learn the song on her piano. This past week, the entire congregation of her chruch went to her shop and she played and sang the song. How can I deny what she wants? It's intersting to me that a song that is inspirational for someone else, can be so negatively associated that the joy of the original music is lost.

Sometimes we just need some distracation to remind us that we are human and we have a future. I love my mother, however her positive attitude has begun to decrease. I now must find some comfort in 'normal' society, and the lack of control and understanding scares me more than I can admit.

The key thing to remember, as with any D Day, is that depending on how we view it, the world is still always at our feet. We can make it positive or negative. Admiting you are scared doesn't define that outcome. It is in the coping and the living that defines us.