Monday on Saturday?:Having Fun with Unbalance

Ever had one of those weeks where every day bled into the next? Sure you have. I could have swore when I woke up this morning, it was still Monday. Imagine my freak out factor when I was half dressed in my suit, cup of coffee in my hand, and my dog, and both cats were sitting in the middle of the kitchen looking up at me.

Normally, I would have thought they just wanted food, or water, or (heaven forbid) attention. No, that wasn't the case, they were giving me the "I want my Saturday food" face, and Fluffy was being especially adamant: "Meow, MEOW, MEEEOOOW!, MEEEEEEEOOOOOW!!!!! (Interpretation, 'Tuna, Now!')". You get the picture. I couldn't figure it out and thought that my pets were really suffering from some major Erin neglect until I went to turn on my favorite local news channel to get the traffic updates.

Here I am, half suit, half coffee, two cats and a dog tugging at my side, it is 6:30 am and all I see on my local news and traffic channel is Dora the Explorer. Okay...Dora doesn't normally give me my news...curious, I looked around the room. Hmm. the time is right. What the heck? I flipped through the local channels...no news. Hmm..the situation grew curiouser and curiouser. I then went into my office, and pulled up my Office Outlook. Once all the male enhancement adds and Panama Offshore accounts downloaded, I finally got to my new emails and calendar. I pulled up "today", it was Saturday. Duh ...is a mild interpretation of what I said next. So much for sleeping in.

I decided to just embrace it and take some pics of the kids. The timing is perfect as mom will be getting a chance very soon to view and potentially contribute to the blog in the next few weeks and has never gotten to see her two granddaughters and grandson.

Here is Fluffy letting me know she is none to pleased.

Although she has the temperament of a 2 year old who just got told no, she has an intellectual side as well:

And here was Petey today and one of him in the yard last year:

I guess he thinks his left is the best pose? What a divo!

And last, but not least, the queen of the house, Bianca.

This morning guarding "her room", otherwise known as my office:

And in her favorite chair:

I noticed doing this blog that I spend a lot of time and energy understanding my pets and their different communication patterns and needs..but with people, I get inpatient and expect them to communicate with me in the same style that I do, to speak fast and get to the point quickly, and heaven forbid, to be honest. Wouldn't the world be an easier place to live if everyone communicated the same way, took the time to understand each other, and was honest? Fact is, we don't. But what we can do is try our best on an individual basis, and maybe the people we run into will be as lucky as our pets, to receive our undivided attempt to understand no matter what the message is.

Here is one of my favorite videos that I use when I conduct trainings on communication. View it, and figure out who is the aggressor and who is the responder.

Most folks, when they view this video, assume the black kitten is the aggressor and the orange cat the receiver. Actually, the reverse is true. The black kitten is trying to get the orange's attention, and is doing so in the only manner she knows that the orangie will respond..aggressively. She is modifying her communication patten in order to illicit a response from the orange cat. However, by modifying her behavior and working to solidify a communication from the orange cat, the little kitten gets attacked as a by product. This serves as a good lesson in life. We should modify our communication as much as it takes to get our point across, but not too much as to lose our identity and the intent in the original message. Also, sometimes, we should not try too hard..for some of the folks we communicate with, may only want to fight. The test is to know the balance, and to have fun with those who are unbalanced.

Invest Wisely This Week!

Imagine there is a bank, which credits your account each morning with $86,400, carries over no balance from day to day, allows you to keep no cash balance, and every evening cancels whatever part of the amount you had failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every penney, of course! Well, everyone has such a bank. Its name is Time. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the records of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against "tomorrow." Therefore, there is never not enough time or too much time. Time management is decided by us alone and nobody else. It is never the case of us not having enough time to do things, but the case of whether we want to do it, and, whether we are willing to prioritize our time to maximize its benefit to us.
Invest wisely this week!

The Video of the Celebration

I went home last weekend and captured some video of my mother when she didn't know it. I have tried all week to upload it to this blog, and think I have finally figured it out. The following link sends you to an image of my mother and I engaged in the 3rd candle blowing out escapade of her birthday. She was pretty tired, but wanted to do all she could for the people who wrote in about her. This footage is taken at Huie's house, which just happens to be my old family home from the late 80's but that is for later discussion, and is fun either way. Here is the link to the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxDOAZTA4Pg

I wish Ann were here.

When I was visiting with my mom last weekend, we talked about the presidential race and how great it was that she has lived long enough to potentially see the first female president. Over the past year, as Hillary Clinton has emerged as the first serious female contender for President of the United States, a lot of us in Texas have said the same thing: "I wish Ann were here."

Ann Richards would be riding high right about now. Because whatever happens today, this is a historic time for women. And Ann had a lot to do with getting us here.

Most everybody in Texas has an Ann Richards story. I remember watching her gubernatorial inauguration, when she led a parade down Congress Avenue to the capitol building. For young professional women such as my mother and us new breed of young professionals, she was a symbol of hope in a state where good ol' boys had always been in charge. Since she carried the women's vote by 60 percent, seems that a lot of those good ol' boys' wives voted for Ann.

Ann had already made an impression on the rest of the country. At the 1988 Democratic National Convention, her opening remarks included a sound bite that is Ann at her best.

"Twelve years ago Barbara Jordan, another Texas woman, Barbara made the keynote address to this convention, and two women in a hundred and sixty years is about par for the course. But if you give us a chance, we can perform. After all, Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels."

The whole speech is a gem. Take a listen when you have a few minutes. Get ready to be inspired — and irritated that so much of what the Republicans were doing 20 years ago, they're still doing today. Same song, second Bush.

A few days ago, mom told me she always wanted Ann to be president, with Molly Ivins as White House spokesperson. What an administration! We'd actually look forward to the State of the Union address.

Molly herself said that if Ann had been 10 years younger, she could've been president. Instead, she spent her career using her fabulous wit and down-to-earth manner to combat sexism and racism. And at every juncture, she'd step back, smile, and say, "Idn't it wonderful?"

This week, the Hillary campaign in Texas put together a video with highlights from Ann Richards' career. It has sparked controversy, since it assumes Ann would've campaigned for her friend Hillary. Ann's youngest daughter, Ellen, thinks that indeed she would. In a statement, she said, "I believe that if my mom were alive today that she would be stumping across Texas and around the country supporting Hillary for president."

Click this link to view the video: http://www.brightcove.tv/title.jsp?title=1434034576

Ann's boys, Dan and Clark, aren't so sure. "As her children, we never presumed to know her mind when she was alive and we are not prepared to make a claim as to who she would endorse or what she would do if she were still with us." Fair enough. Predictable, Ann was not.

The blogosphere is ablaze with opinions on both sides. Hillary supporters, especially women, think the video is a grand tribute to Ann and to the progress of women. Obama supporters are outraged that Hillary claims endorsement from a dead person (apparently forgetting that Barack never shies from invoking the spirit of JFK).

Would Ann have supported Hillary? We can't know. My suspicion is that if Ann were alive, Hillary would be a much different candidate, thanks to a straight-shooting friend who got in her face when she veered off-course. And Ann wouldn't have hesitated for a minute to call out the media for its sexism.

One thing's for sure. Ann would have been tickled to death that the choice for the Democratic nomination is between two of the most underepresented subsets of society, a woman and an African American. I can almost hear her, watching the debates, taking it all in and saying, "Idn't it wonderful?" And you know, it really is.

And the winner is...1292 and counting

Thank you to all who thought of us, whether you sent cards or not, it still meant a lot to my family. I had the perfect song picked out for this blog, but couldn't record it like I wanted to.

So the best that I can do is give you the lyrics below and reference the artist:

The Last Song: Terri Hendrix
written by Bill Mallonee and Julie Miller copy right 1997

May your peace be an anchor

In stormy times

May your hope run like a river

That'll never run dry

May your burdens grow light

May your worries subside

This is my prayer for you
May your soul grow deep

May your joy run wild

May your heart know the face of mercy has smiled

May your faith come to let you believe like a child

This is my prayer for you

This is my prayer for you

One of the best songs ever written, and sung beautifully. Find it, play it, buy it. Great artist and great song.

Okay, with that being said, let me discuss my weekend with my mom on her birthday. Let's just say that there were so many sound bites and moments, that I can't possibly include them all in this blog. Instead of focusing on my lessons so much, I will dedicate this blog to what everyone wants to know: how is she, and how many cards did she get. The following picture is of my mother and cousin sorting through the photos in an attempt to get a final "official" count. We had a running bet somewhere between 800 and 1500. Here is Patricia and mom sorting cards. We had only been out of the car and off the road 10 minutes when mom put us to work. I was cooking and Patricia was assigned the task of sorting:

And the aftermath scene played out as follows:

Mom really loved the cards from the elementary students. Most were sent from the Freeman school district in the Dallas area:

And finally here she is amongst all 1292 cards that everyone sent! Thank you everyone! You have no idea how much this meant to her and our family. Read beyond the pics for further updates.

My mother has become someone I never knew her capable of being, loving, humble and spiritual. I am blessed to have this opportunity to rediscover my mom, and for the opportunity for her to get to rediscover me. If you haven't had this opportunity with your own parent(s), this is my prayer for you.

50% Reduction!!!

I received a voice mail from my mom at 12:20 pm today. I was in class, and missed the call. She said that she got the results from her CT scan from Tuesday and that her cancer was "Over 50% reduced...isn't that good news!" It was 2pm when I got the call, and I immediately called her back. As I was passing the "Bucee's" Chevron in Giddings [Shameless plug as this place has the best bathroom and beef jerky display I have ever seen!..It should be a tourist attraction in and of itself], I finally got ahold of her. Here is a transcript of our conversation:

Mom: "Hello? Erin, is that you?"
Erin: "Hey mom. Whatcha doin?"
Mom: "Just doin' my dishes over at Aunt Helen's. Did I tell you what she did today?"
Erin: "No, I haven't talked to you, what happened today?"
Mom: "Well, she was wondering around the yard determined to clean it up. She had a 54 pound washer in the wheel barrel and was moving it to the junk pile. You know she is over 85 years old! But, she was moving that stuff like she was 30. "
Erin: "You know Aunt Hell, she can move mountains by sure determination. You aren't that different you know."
Mom: "I know. I use to be strong like her. But when I tried to help her pick up that wheel barrel today, I couldn't even lift the handle. She is strong, and I can't hang with her."
Erin: "Oh sure you can. I remember a time when you re-cemented the front porch in one night. You can do some amazing things. For instance, haven't you shrunk a cancer you weren't even suppose to live through? I believe that beats Aunt Helen's strength by a long shot"
Mom: "Wow! you are right. I am beating biological cancer, with a 50% reduction, and Aunt Helen is making my life better by getting rid of at least 50% of the environmental cancers surrounding my house."
Erin: "How do you tell a 80+ year old women to slow down, when she doesn't want to?"
Mom: "The same way you tell a 50+ year old woman ... you don't. You let them fight in the way they know, live in the way that they can, and love as and how they want."
Erin: "Sounds like life to me."
Mom: "Damn right and good night."

Phone in my pocket

It's Thursday, one day past the midday of the week and I already feel as if it is Monday all over. I am mindlessly driving back from class, listening to the latest John Grisham novel on CD, when my phone rings. I didn't hear it at first as I was focused on the plight of the heroin as she tries to outsmart her male nemesis in the court room, then the CD pauses and I heard the musician Pink say "I'm in trouble now, yeah trouble now". I immediately knew it was mom calling and picked up the phone. Here is a transcript of our conversation:

Erin: "Hey Mom, whatcha doin?"
Mom: "Just laying here. I had my phone in my pocket and thought I would call."
Erin: "Ummm...okay. That is an interesting excuse. How are you calling me if your phone is in your pocket?"
Mom: "Well, I was feeling tired, laid down and thought, hmm....wonder if...then realized that I had my phone in my pocket and I didn't have to get up. Thought I would call and let you know something. Nothing too big, and I love..but I just wanted to tell you."
Erin: "Good God. Did someone send you a card with some kind of story about me? If so..there all true I promise. [grin..mom laughs]"
Mom: "No..No. This is funnier. You know how you had the wrong zip code and how you put 'cars' instead of 'cards' in the text of the email that you sent out asking for my birthday wish?"
Erin: "Yeah." [I breathed as I winced under the pressure of what else I must have messed up on this effort]
Mom: "Well, you made me a year younger. You do know that I am actually 55 not 54 don't you?"
Erin: "Oh my God! Your right. When I wrote the email, I was in a hurry and emotional. All I thought about was the fact that you were 21 when you had me, and that I am now 33, therefore you should be 54. I never even considered the fact that I was born in November and your birthday is in February. I am sorry...I guess that means we are celebrating your 2nd anniversary of your 54th birthday."
Mom: "That's okay..it gave me a reason to call you and the phone in my pocket just gave me the opportunity."

I am proud of us and for what we have become

You guys are truly amazing. Friday, I learned that when I sent out my mom’s birthday request, I had inadvertently reversed some numbers on the zip code for her mailing address. I figured it out and sent out a notice as quickly as I could with the correct zip code. But, despite the wrong zip code, your thoughts and kindness are getting through to her.

On Saturday, I called her and she advised that first, she was wrong about the number of cards she got on Friday and second, that she had no idea how far her request would go. Her specific words were; “I thought it was 20 on Friday, but then I saw that a card I thought was a bill from Tom Green County was an actual card wishing me well. I got 21 on one day!” We talked some more about the cards and how the request was distributed. Then she told me that she got 56 cards that day (Saturday). “What?” I asked. “56 cards in one day? That means you have 77 so far?” She said yes, and that it was obvious that at least one elementary school from Dallas sent her cards and that she suspected that several folks had their kids fill some out. I asked her how she knew, and she simply stated; “The kids always say that I am in their prayers and sign with just their first name. I know then that someone innocent and young is thinking of me and the card and not about all the junk we deal with as adults”.

Fast forward to Monday, I called mom on my way home from work. The following is a transcript of our conversation:
Erin: “Hey Mom. Whatcha’ Doing?”
Mom: “Just waking up. Feeling a little low today but am getting up now. Gonna start moving around.”
Erin: “ Ha. Ha. Like I would know if you hadn’t been up or if you were still in bed now. Just thought I would call on my way home and see how things are going. Have you been to the post office today?”
Mom: “Yeah, I got 122 cards today.”
Erin: “122 total? Or 122 in one day?”
Mom: “122 just today. That makes me one short of 200 in total. I think I might be annoying the post office lady.”
Erin: “Who cares. For the first time in years, she is having to work. “
Mom: “This is getting to be work…”
Erin: “You asked for this. What do you mean?”
Mom: “ I had no idea how this would play out. This is amazing, and I am glad to know that you have this support group to fall back on. You will need it.”
Erin: “ What do you mean? “
Mom: “Erin, I think, from experience, that it is harder to watch someone go through this than to go through it yourself.”
Erin: “I can’t say Mom, but I am here. I am as close as someone can get without getting cancer herself.”
Mom: “It is harder because watching someone die, you have to go through all the grief emotions, and you can’t help. There is simply nothing you can do when you watch someone you know and love die. And in my case, there is nothing you can do to make it easier/better for me. I know that."
Erin: “I know Mom, that has been really hard for me. I just want to help you. I can’t take your sickness away, I can’t take your lack of economic freedom away, all I can do is be here and love you and that is hard for me to do.”
Mom: “I know Erin, and we have never spoke of it. On my side, I am dealing with the reality that I am going to die. I struggle with the depression that the anxiety of death brings. I want to live every day until the end….but I am so sick sometimes that I can’t live it like I want/need to.”
Erin: “I can only imagine how hard that is for you, but be me. Think for a moment what it is like to know that terminal illness is just that, terminal. And I lose my access to you. I don’t want that..I can't believe that will happen.”
Mom: “Erin, I struggle with the depression that overwhelms me. I got my CT scan today. We will find out in the next couple days whether this treatment is working. I feel it is, but the scientist will tell us soon.”
Erin: “I bet you are full of anxiety about that. I know I am.”
Mom: “Yeah, but these cards that have come in. They give me hope. They help me to not be sad and if this many people are praying for me, then I have to make it.”
Erin: “Mom, you have no idea how many people you have helped…this has become bigger than just helping you, you have helped hundreds just by being you. I love you mom, and many people find inspiration from you, as I do, and will continue to do.”
Mom: “Keep bringing the cards. They are also showing me how much you mean to people. I am proud of you daughter, and I am proud of us and for what we have become.”

This one, I choose to keep

I was going through some old photo's that my mom gave me a couple weeks ago during my last vist and discovered some of my sister's and I's old school yearbook photos. All I could do is laugh and say to myself "Wow! Who thought that was a good idea???" I have no idea who was dressing me or how much hairspray I went though in the late eighties and early nineties.

However, what I can say is that one of life’s great shared injustices is the yearbook photo. We all had to get them. And — unless they’ve somehow magically found a cure for awkwardness, geekiness and general dorkitude since I was a teenager — most of us dreaded them. For whatever reason, be it bad skin, bad clothes or the steadfast yet ultimately misguided belief in the transformative properties of big bangs, many of us look back at our school pictures and cringe. Or, at the very least, giggle. Celebrities had to get them too, just like us mere mortals. Now that is what I call justice. As I believe that strong and intelligent women should support one another (or at least agree to share previous bad photos of each other), I thought I would share some photos of some strong and intelligent famous women in their less than flattering yearbook photos and engage in a bit of fun guessing who they are. Please know that in a future episode, I will give a chornological history of my sister and I as well as our mother in a similar trivia fashion. I am collecting the photos as you read this.

Below is a mosiac of the yearbook photos. Take a close look, as I will quiz you in a bit. No cheating.

So, let’s play a little game called I like to call "Name That Teenager". It’ll be fun; like being back in high school, but already knowing what everyone will look like at the class reunion. Let the games begin:

First, look at the top four pictures in the top left portion of the mosaic. Among them you have a "Rock" star, an Alien hunter, a Flash Dance model and the possible next president of the United States of America.

Next, look at the four pictures in the top right corner of the mosiac. This is a group that clearly spared no expense on the Aqua Net.

The next group makes the quadrant comprised of the bottom left corner of the mosiac. This group kept it cropped short. Just goes to prove that a tom boy's can be glamourous too!

Finally, the bottom right corner of the mosiac and all the possible stumpers. I’ll give you a hint: Three of them have almost the exact same first name. Also, can we please savor the fashion genius that is top left hand corner’s pencil themed T-shirt? Are those No. 2 pencils? She is so ready for her placement exams.

As a precursor for future installments, here is one of my favorite pictures of my mom, my sister and I about 3 years ago at my sister's graduation from Vet School. This was one of the happies memories I have of both of them.

Going through those old photo's, and those of the celebrities above, I have learned that, despite the fame, fortune, or opportunity, and despite the lighting, imperfections and weight gain/loss, life is short, photos live forever, but memories breath life to the moment captured in both. We do not define relationships or ourselves by our photos, friends, or family, but by the memories we create and those we chose to keep.

This one, I will chose to keep.

I got a lot of reading to do

Thanks to everyone who has been sending birthday cards and for spreading the word regarding this attempt. Never short for words, my mom has been virtually speechless and surprised the last few days by the response her request has received.

Today, I was sitting in class when she called. Concerned that something significant had occurred regarding her illness, I excused my self from class and took the call.

Mom: "Hey Erin, are you in a meeting or something?"
Erin: "Hey Mom, no I am in class, what's up?"
Mom: "Well, I just wanted to let you know that I just left the post office and I had 20 birthday cards."
Erin: "Really? Wow! That is fantastic."
Mom: "Yeah, they are from all over the state. I got one from Georgetown, some from Amarrillo, one from Raymondville. What did you do? Did you put it on the internet?"
Erin: "I did what you asked. I sent an email to all my co-workers, friends, and people that I know and asked that they spread the word."
Mom: "I am debating whether or not to read them now or wait until my birthday."
Erin: "I would suggest you open them as they come, or you may get overwhelmed. I know my friends and peers, and I expect that you will get a lot more than the 20 you got today."
Mom: "Really? I guess I will get to celebrate my birthday all week?"
Erin: "All week, and all year, this is your time to realize that you have an impact on the world and that people are wishing you well."
Mom: " I love you Erin. I will let you go. I got a lot of reading to do."

I love you too Mom, and here's to many more cards and smiles for you.